Trapped Under Ice

Frost Giants iz stoopid

Yo dawg, Caninia here, we totally took dem frost bitches for a spin y’all! It wen down like this yo:

First we wuz in a forest n shit, en like I got all lumberjacky and climbed a tree. That sucker was like 100 ft tall dawg, furreal! I got all the way up to the top an was like “Damn, I can see my house from here, shit!” But for real, that shit started to chafe so I all got my tail down that muthafucka.

So we’s walkin’, me an this wizard shaman dude, just a couple of dawgs on the prowl, lookin’ fer bitches and dolla bills yo. So then we start hearin’ some freak scream and then it sounds like some big fat muthafucka starts laughin. And it keeps goin’ on like that for awhile right. So we all get down on all fours and start doin’ some fuckin’ Mission Impossible shit right. Damn that shit was tight! Then I’ll never forget the look on my dude’s face, we walked right into a muthafuckin’ lake of pee. That shit was everywhere, we was up to our goddamn knees in that shit. Can you believe that, somebody dumped their piss out in the middle of the forest. That’s not how I roll yo. I need me a fire hydrant or at least a damn tree or somethin’.

So check this: we get to a clearing, an we find 4 of these big fat giant fucks, and they’re holdin these suits of armor yo, like real full plate shit. And they’re tossin’ these things back n forth at some damn bowling pins. Those things was like tree trunks, I ain’t lyin’! An the suits of armor got people in em And the bitches got some people tied up to a tree. Some small muthatfuckas or somethin. I said they were goblins and was about to split the fuck outta there, but shaman dudes’ all like “They’re fuckin’ midgets yo!” So I’m like “Shit.”

Long story short: we pull out some fuckin’ math olympiad shit on these frost giant crackheads. Muthafuckas must have snow for brains cuz they can’t mathematize for shit! We’re all sneakin’ off with dwarves and doubling back and giving these dopes the runaround. Then, when we got the dwarves outta there, we set the bitches camp on fire and haul our fuckin’ tails the fuck out of Dodge. So now we’re chillin’ wit ‘dese dwarven bitches and they offer our broke asses a job. So now me and shaman dude are all like bouncers and shit now. It’s like some Who Let the Dawgs out shit up in here furreal. Peace yo, check ya later. The Dawg Pack is in full effect!

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